March 24, 2014 / The "Just Do It" Dilemma
Just Do It is common advice. It's also completely meaningless on its own.
"Just Do It" isn’t just a trademarked Nike slogan, it’s also the most popular dating advice out there.
Can’t approach women? "Just Do It."
Not sure how to ask for her number? "Just ask for it."
Afraid to go in for the kiss? "Just kiss her."
Don’t know how to ask her to leave the club with you? "Just ask."
Pretty much every problem in the dating world can be answered, and is often answered, in this way. Hell, most questions in the real world can be answered this way. Technically, this advice is always "right." Much of the anxiety men have with a lot of actions related to dating stem from a fear of rejection and that, in turn, can stem from over-thinking. "Just do it" is a great way to prevent that.
If it were only so easy
Unfortunately, if it were only so easy, most men wouldn’t have many issues in their dating lives; at least not the kind that are solved by "just doing it." In reality, "just do it" is generally quite poor advice because it’s information men already know, yet struggle to actually implement.
"Just do it" tells you what to do, but it doesn’t tell you how to do it. This can be an incredibly frustrating experience for men out there trying to improve their game and increase their chances with women. This usuallyleads to a feeling of complete loss, where men believe they simply "don’t have the natural ability" to take even the most simple steps in seduction such as being able to make eye contact with a woman, or being able to say "hi" to a woman. Yes, believe it or not, there are men out there who believe they are literally physically incapable of doing such simple tasks. They think, "I’m told to just do it, but I don’t know how, so I can’t."
A practical implementation of "Just Do It"
A practical implementation of "just do it" needs to involve more than the word "just" but also a plan relating to "how," usually by breaking down seemingly simple steps into even simpler, more canonical steps. Giving you the how is something I’ve sought to do in many of my articles, such as when I break down the simple step of "saying hi" into even smaller steps in articles such as 6 Ways to Overcome Approach Anxiety.
Oneitis is another classic example where you may be told the goal is to move on, and the only thing you need to do is "just do it." But clearly "just moving on from oneitis" is more complicated than that, which is why I’ve written so many articles discussing and breaking it down further. Either way, the idea is the same: break down the seemingly simple "just do it" step into even smaller steps.
Figuring out the ‘how’
While "just do it" is universally applicable advice, "how to do it" may not be. I may give you several options on how to approach women, but it’s up to you to determine which works the best for you. Don’t hesitate to adapt and adjust the "how." Giving you options on how to do something does not mean any option needs to be followed dogmatically. Whether it’s attracting women or anything else in life, you’ll find the most successful techniques are the ones you practiced, adapted, and evolved for yourself.
It does eventually come down to "just do it"
I’ve discussed why being told to "just do" something without any help on how to do it has limited value. But once you know what to do and have an idea of how to do it, what are you waiting for? Don’t let analysis paralysis set in. Once you have enough context and direction on how to do something, the next step is, in fact, to just do it.