Apr 30, 2014 / The Power of Canceling
Don't be afraid to cancel dates, it can actually INCREASE your chances.
Ever jump through hoops, turn your schedule upside down, cancel on your friends, or agree to idiotic short dates during the day, travel an hour and a half out of your way, and the like just to finally get that date with a girl who in the end, usually was hardly if at all interested?
What if I told you that you would have dramatically increased your chances if, despite how badly you wanted to meet her, you had just cancelled whatever absurd plans you made? Well, it's true. Canceling dates is a powerful technique that you should not leave out of your dating arsenal.
<h4>Canceling shows non-neediness</h4>
As I wrote about <a href="/articles/view/you-are-being-too-available/">here,</a> and <a href="/newsletter/view/neediness-is-killing-your-chances/f356c5e255">here</a> , being too available and neediness are kisses of death when it comes to dating. Canceling is the antithesis of being available and needy. True, you won't get to see the girl you want to see that day, but you are demonstrating considerable non-neediness by being willing to cancel. It doesn't seem like a big deal, and it doesn't seem like canceling really sends a powerful message but is a big deal and it does sending a powerful message!
<h4>Canceling shows you have a life</h4>
When you cancel, you demonstrate that you have other things going on in your life. Women like men with a lot going on, and you are demonstrating this every time you cancel on a girl (unless you do something idiotic, like say, "I'm canceling because I read I should do that on Josh Sway"). Women will almost ever be turned off if you have to cancel on them because you have an important business event, a friends' bday you forgot about, or what not. If anything, they respect it.
<h4>Cancel if you badgered</h4>
I got news for you: some girls will agree to go out with you so you just stop badgering them. You do not want to waste any time going out with these girls. She is not suddenly going to fall for you if you "just get in front her" and "just get a chance". Sorry, it will NOT happen. All you are going to do is waste her time and yours. Canceling is a great move if you badgered your way into a date to begin with.
Basically, were you that guy who hounded a girl to go out with you for weeks and finally she agreed to meet you for coffee on a Wednesday afternoon? There is a good chance she finally agreed because she didn't have the courage to reject you but has no interest in dating you, or maybe she did have interest but found your badgering annoying and needy? Either way, the right move is to cancel! If she has no interest, then good riddance, you just save yourself time. And even if you do maybe have a chance, your best chance is to actually cancel a shitty date to begin with to demonstrate you are not as needy and annoying as she thinks you are!
<h4>Canceling to gauge interest</h4>
Canceling is also a good way to gauge her interest. How does she respond to you canceling? Does she just say "Ok no prob?" Does she propose another time? Is she receptive when you propose a different time and date? Her answers can work as a gauge of her interest level. If she just says "ok", it's not the best sign. If she proposes another time that is a great sign.
<h4>Like all techniques, use canceling in the proper context</h4>
Canceling dates can be a very powerful technique to make you more desirable by appearing non-needy and demonstrating you have things going on in your life. However, make sure you use cancellation in the proper context: don't just randomly cancel on girls for no reason.