January 07, 2014 / There’s Always A Reason
Instead of finding the reason to fail, find the reason to succeed.
"The time wasn’t right"
"I didn’t feel like it was an appropriate venue given so many of her friends where around"
"This other girl I am kind of interested in was there"
"It was a house party with few people so I didn’t want to embarrass her"
The list of excuses to not approach, not ask out, not go for a kiss and not make any kind of move is quite literally endless. Many times the "reason" is technically true. Sometimes it isn’t the best possible time. Other times it could be a little awkward if you get rejected. Sometimes when her friends are around it is harder to make a move. However, the problem is, there is always some reason why the circumstances are not perfect. If you go through all the reasons in your head not to make a move you are virtually guaranteed to find one. The end result? Failure to do anything. It’s time that behavior stopped.
There’s always a reason means it doesn’t matter
If something is always true, then it is hardly important information. I talk about this in "Sway Seduction" when it comes to online profile building: there’s no point adding something to your profile that is true for everyone (such as "I’m a laid back guy" or "I’m close with my friends and family"). The logic behind not including these facts add nothing as they fail to set you apart from just about every human being on this earth.
The "reason not to ask out" is the same thing. You will always find one which therefore, makes it useless information. Not asking a woman out because you came up with some reason the setup isn’t perfect is logically equivalent to not asking a woman out because the earth revolves around the sun.
Start thinking about reasons why not reasons not to
If you want to be successful with women, you are going to have to make moves on them. You’ll have to approach them, you’ll have to ask them out, and you’ll have to go for a kiss (and more). Failure you to do any of these things is a guaranteed path to a life without love and sex. Do you really want the fact that "the earth revolves around the sun" be responsible for you being loveless and alone? Of course not. Wouldn’t it be better if the fact that "the earth revolves around the sun" were responsible for you having a life full of women, sex, and relationships? I sure think so.
You can be on your path to accomplishing this very thing by, instead of thinking about reasons not to do something, start thinking about the reasons you should do things. Just like there’s always a reason to not ask her out, you’ll find if you look hard enough, there is always a reason TO do it! This change in your mindset will greatly improve your success with women.