December 23, 2013 / Using Proximity To Your Advantage
Use proximity to your advantage, not to appear like a creep stalker.
One of the most natural and instinctual courtship behaviors we engage in is "proximity". I recall using this technique as early as 2nd grade when I would arrange to always be around my 2nd grade crush. Being around someone you are interested in gives you opportunities to engage them and opportunities to make your presence known. It also; however, gives you opportunities to come off as a creepy stalker. How do you use proximity to your advantage without coming off as a creep. Here are some tips:
1. Don’t overdo it
The easiest way to screw up proximity is to overdo it. Going too far out of your way just to be next to someone you like will eventually become obvious. Women like confident men, and the reality is , proximity is a very indirect and passive tool. If they know you are using proximity on them but you don’t talk to them or make a move, you will just come off as insecure or even worse, a creepy stalker.
2. Make proximity count
As alluded to in point 1, make proximity count by doing something with it. You will only have a limited amount of opportunities to "accidentally" run into your dream girl before what you are doing becomes obvious. Make these moments count by also engaging them as opposed to just being near them.
3. Have a legitimate looking reason
Try to have an actual reason to be near them. If it’s obvious you are going out of your way and there is no good plausible explanation for why you appear near her at a certain time and place, it’s going to appear very needy and try hard. Instead of thinking be around her first and then worrying about the reason, think about the reason first.
4. Use proximity at good times
There’s no point being "near her" if it is in a situation where you can’t really talk to her. Sitting next to her in class during a boring lecture could have some merit. Sitting next to her during an exam is way less worthwhile. The best way to run into people you care about is in a social setting. Try going to the same bars she goes to or same parties if you can.
Another important thing to consider is your social standing and overall appearance at the location. For example, you do not want to go to a party where you don’t know anyone and have zero social proof just to be near her because it may actually backfire.
Proximity can be a good tool to use on women you are interested in; however, remember, it is a passive tool that should not be overdone and needs to go hand in hand with actual interaction.