May 11, 2014 / What a "Neg" Really Is
The goal is to challenge, not insult.
“Negging” is often portrayed as insulting a woman in order to lower her self-esteem, but this is wildly incorrect. Why would insults ever be a good strategy for building attraction? And at least on JoshSway.com, we promote increasing your own value to attract a woman, not lowering her value.
So what is the appropriate usage of a “neg”? Essentially, it’s a statement where you “disqualify” the woman as someone you would be attracted to.
<strong>Good neg:</strong> “How could live in Chicago and not go to a baseball game at Wrigley Field? That’s it; you’re fired.”
<strong>Bag neg:</strong> “The only girls that don’t like baseball are idiots.”
In other words, a good neg is a <strong>challenge, not an insult.</strong> You’re communicating to the woman, “You aren’t the type of girl I’m interested in. If you think otherwise, then prove me wrong.” If your neg is just a direct insult, then no woman will respond positively. They’ll just think you’re arrogant, condescending, or just plain wrong.
So when used appropriately, negging is a gambit that will encourage the woman to <strong>convey interest</strong> first. This should make her IOIs easier to read, and give you more confidence to escalate. It has nothing to do with lowering her self-esteem, or playing “hard to get,” or whatever misguided definitions you may have heard.