March 03, 2014 / Why You Aren’t Approaching Her
Still can't approach her? This can help you.
You want women. You believe you deserve women. But no matter what you have tried so far, you simply cannot even man up and approach them. Why? Why do you suffer from the crippling affliction of approach anxiety and why do you feel so powerless to do anything about it?
There are a multitude of reasons, the two main ones are:
1. Approach anxiety is innate.
Approach anxiety is innate in us. The fear of rejection has been hard wired into our brains through years of evolution. There used to be considerable cost to approaching a woman and failing: one may have been ostracized from his "clan", for example. An even bigger driver in my opinion is the fear that the woman’s husband or family will hurt, or even kill you for approaching a taken woman. So there you have it, there IS a reason you "just can’t do it" for no logical reason.
2. You assume failure
Often times, another culprit besides the fear of failure is the assumption of failure. You assume failure before you even begin, and when you go into something assuming failure, there is very little impetus to try.
Dealing with the issues
So you have probably tried dealing with this issue before. Perhaps you read my article on "6 Ways To Combat Approach Anxiety". This article should help you move forward and get to where you can at least start to approach women. Unfortunately, where that brief article falls short is in addressing point 2 above: your assumption of failure.
In order to stop assuming failure, you need to build a toolset that will help you get success. Not just help you get success, but help you believe you will get success. I’ve said it more times than I can count in previous articles: confidence matters, and women can sense confidence in a man. How can you get that confidence? You can get it by having a plan. You can get it by learning how to approach successfully, not just mindlessly approaching a woman as an exercise.
The Art of Sway
Approaching women is a skill that can be learned. Unless you look like a napalm burn victim (and even potentially if you do!), you can learn to approach women and develop a success rate significantly higher than zero percent. How do you do it? I assume you already read my article: 6 Ways to Approach Women. That should give you an idea of where to start, but it could be that you need more.
To that end, I have put together most of what I know regarding approaching women into one place, my latest e-book, The Art of Sway: A Handbook In Approaching Women. In the art of sway, dedicate an entire chapter to overcoming approach anxiety and proceed to cover how to approach women in a variety of scenarios. I show you different ways to approach women on the street, at the gym, at a house party, at a night club, at the bar. You name it, I have either covered it directly in The Art of Sway or develop enough theory and similar examples for you to be able to easily figure it out on your own.
So if simple advice, pep-talks, and a few articles here or there are not getting the job done like you’d hoped. If you think you need more to get out there and meet women. I highly recommend you check out my e-book, The Art of Sway.