Josh Sway
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/ Why You Never Get Laid On The First Date

Ever wonder why you can't get laid early on with women? This is why.


It's a great feeling: meeting a woman and making her so into you that she is willing to sleep with you when she hardly even knows you. But, there's a good chance if you are reading this article, you wouldn't know. Why is that? Ever wonder why you aren't getting laid on a first date? Every wonder why you've had to put in all this time and effort to get women when other men seemingly get women to sleep with them at will? Here are the main reasons why:

1. You are not attractive

That's right. Unattractive people hardly ever get laid on a first date. But when I say attractive, I don't mean just looks. Sure, looks is one way to appear attractive, but it is hardly the only way. I mean look at how many ugly movie stars, athletes, and fat rich guys at the night club get laid regularly? However, you have to be attractive in some way to get women to sleep with you quickly. Whether you are attractive because you are powerful, were just performing on stage at the bar, are physically fit, have very high social proof (know everyone at the venue, etc.) or are highly intelligent, just to name a few examples hardly makes much of a difference. But, you must be attractive to get laid quickly: something needs to attract her interest early on.

2. Your logistics are terrible

How many times do I bring up logistics in an article? Is it every other article? every article? I cannot emphasize enough how important logistics are for getting laid on a first date or getting a one night stand. Women are virtually programmed to find a reason not to sleep with you right away, so you need to make it as easy as possible for them to sleep with you. This means meeting them near your place, ensuring the hours you meet are not weird and getting her away from her friends and comfortable around you without them. Don't make it easy for them to come up with an excuse like "I need to find my friends" or "you live too far away" or "eww I'm not checking into a motel with a random stranger."

3. You haven't actually tried

Many of you are not getting laid early on because you haven't even tried to do so! As much as women will try not to sleep with you on a first date initially, almost all of them have done it before (and likely, if they stay single for a while, will do so again). So then why aren't YOU getting a piece of the action? Maybe it is because you aren't trying! Are you asking girls you are having good dates with to come to your place to hang out? (Check out 6 ways to get her over to your place here) Are you being physical enough during the date to amp up the attraction level and turn her on? I'm talking about simple stuff, like an arm around her waist if you are walking somewhere, touching her hand while you talk, not groping her breasts in public! If you aren't taking the necessary steps to build on initial attraction, you haven't even tried!

4. You aren't meeting enough women

Yes, sometimes you can find girls out there who are just willing to sleep with anything that moves, but generally, getting laid on a first date requires there to be considerable chemistry and strong initial attraction. This connection won't happen with every woman, so if you aren't meeting a lot of women, there is a good chance that you simply haven't had the right connection yet. Go out there and meet more women. If you find it hard to meet women in your area, try online dating, it is by far the easiest way to meet women.

5. You aren't deliberate enough

I wasn't sure if the right word to use is deliberate or aggressive. Aggressive is often misinterpreted by many men as a license to grope, talk inappropriately, and even break the law. For this reason, I chose to use the word deliberate. Women will rarely propose having sex after a first date or first meeting, you will have to guide the interaction to lead to that stage. This often requires deliberate planning, such as ensuring logistics are good (point 2), actually making the move (point 3), going out and meeting enough women (point 4), and making yourself as attractive to women as possible (point 1). Bottom line is, unless you are Ryan Gosling, women aren't going to just fall from the sky into your bedroom. You have to take action.

It's also ok to not get laid early

While I am a strong advocate of physical intimacy as early as possible with any woman you are interested in (whether for a one night stand, friends with benefits, a relationship, or even "marriage material"), it isn't the only way. If you find that you are not successful getting one night stands but are successful meeting and dating women you are interested in and are happy, keep doing what you are doing! However, if you want the thrill of sex on a first date, make note of the above.



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