(comic taken from http://www.xkcd.com, by Randall Munroe)
There's a stereotype that women are irrational and illogical, incapable of harnessing their emotions and making sensible decisions about their dating life. When a woman isn't interested in a guy, they talk about ephemeral concepts that seemingly have no basis in logic. "I just didn't feel
any chemistry," they say, "or "he's just not the kind of guy that inspires
butterflies." No women ever says, "after an extensive quantitative review of our compatibility, I've decided he's insufficient as a dating partner."
However, it's a mistake to treat women as purely "emotional." And it's even a bigger mistake to assume logic and emotions are mutually exclusive.
A lot of critics of PUA think that it involves mostly the emotional manipulation in women, but nothing could be farther from the truth. You're still using the tools of logic and reason to build attraction with a woman, which in turn influences her feelings and emotions towards you. It's simply that most guys don't understand how to do this, and whine "why can't see she how good we'd be together?" She can't see it because you didn't let her logically put it together!
How Not To Use Logic
First, while the word "logic" may cause you to think about actuarial tables, backwards E's and upside-down A's, this is not what I'm talking about. If you plan to call her over to your laptop and show her a bunch of excel spreadsheets with the hope of convincing her to date you, then you are using logic the entirely wrong way. This will not work even on women who are highly logical in their choice of dating partners.
The reason is quite simple: the mere action of logically explaining why one should date is not romantic. That's right, the fact that you chose to have a logical argument about dating in itself acted as a turn off and a "logical point" against you. So you might be wondering: if you can't present her with the logic, how is she supposed to consider it?
She's Logical When She's Not With You
Now that you know excel spreadsheets and mathematical formulas are out, what is the proper way to use logic to get women? The proper way is to show
them the data they need to logically arrive at the right decision: the decision to date you!
As I mentioned earlier, women do not innately lack the ability to logically reason, including when it comes to their dating lives. But raw logic is not romantic, it's not sexy, and it's not attractive. Emotions are
attractive, and emotions are
sexy. So when you are with her, you want to focus your logic on informing her emotions
. You want her to feel
great when she's with you, and then you want her to think
highly of you when she's not with you. When she's on her own, thinking about men, thinking about your date, thinking about who she wants to go out with more... that is when you want her to use logic, and that is when she will.
Show The Logic, Don't Tell It
You see, women use logic all the time when deciding who to date. They weigh everything from your looks, to career, to religion, to where you live, to what hobbies you have, to who your friends are, to how she thinks you will treat her (and everything in between). She will weigh you against other potential suitors; often quite logically.
In order for her to do that, you need to show her the necessary data to be able to logically evaluate you
. This is the core of DHV, isn't it? Everything we consider 'high value' has some basis in logic. This is why I've told you to have something going for you
, or why money and power work
, and suggested techniques like Value Overloading
. Think about all those qualities I listed that women care about and demonstrate that you have those traits. You're not just building attraction while you're with her, but presenting reasons why you're logically a good mate that she can consider afterwards.
Now, remember that it's "demonstrate
high value," not "tell high value." If you have a good job, blurting out your gross adjusted annual income is only slightly better than breaking out the aforementioned actuarial tables. You want to show
that you have things like a good career, or that you're fit and healthy, or that you're intelligent and well-read, or that you have rich social life.
In other words, show her all the supporting evidence for why she should logically like you, but do not make the logical connections. Let her make the connections herself, and you'll find yourself appealing to both her emotional and logical side, and you'll be exactly where you want to be for building maximum attraction.