May 25, 2014 / You Don't Always Have To Say Something
Don't think you always have to talk. Sometimes, it's better to just keep your mouth shut.
Men like to talk. Women like to talk. Heck, people like to talk. Talking is good, it's fun, and when it comes to dating, being a good conversationalist is a major turn on to many. However, don't feel that you need to always be saying something. A lot of times, it's best to not say anything at all and just let things unfold.
<h4>Stop talking so much on the dance floor</h4>
Ever find yourself trying to have conversation with the girl you are dancing with on the dance floor? If so, stop. Dancing is very non-verbal, as is dance floor seduction. You don't have to say much, if anything, when you are dancing with a girl. Let your eye contact, the way you move, and the way you touch do the talking for you. Whispering something into her ear every once in a while is ok, but stop trying to have a full fledged conversation a girl while you are trying to grind with her. It is not only logistically difficult, it also offers very little value. Focus on turning her on physically and if things are going well, use your words wisely, for example, to get her off the dance floor to somewhere more private and quiet.
Go 54 seconds into the clip below:
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You do NOT want to be doing anything like that, ever. Once things get physical, keep them physical. All language should be conducive to physical escalation. If it isn't, don't bother saying it. This means limiting your talking to dirty talk and escalation talk (come over here, etc.).
<h4>When she is talking your ear off</h4>
The previous two examples involved situations where you were already getting somewhat physically intimate. Basically, the rule there is: "Do not break up physical intimacy with verbal diarrhea." However, that isn't the only situation where saying something adds little value. Another example is the girl who loves to just talk and talk and talk. If you are interested in this girl, let her talk, and limit your words to questions which induce more talking. You do not have to compete with a girl like this for air time; it's often best to show her you are interested in what she has to say and that you actually want to hear even more.
<h4>When she brings up a topic you'd rather avoid</h4>
I wrote about a few topics you should avoid on a first date <a title="5 Things to Avoid on a First Date" href="/articles/view/5-things-to-avoid-on-a-first-date/">here</a>. If they start coming up, use common sense, but don't feel like you have to start engaging in the conversation anyway just because she brought it up. It's ok to just keep your opinions about politics or religion to yourself, for example, instead of entering into a political debate simply because she brought it up. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but often times, it's better to quickly change the topic of conversation or let it die out versus engaging in it.
<h4>Overall, conversation is good</h4>
Don't get me wrong, conversation is good, and in general, the more you can contribute to a conversation with a woman, the more she will be into you. However, this doesn't mean battling for words and always trying to say something. If talking is going to get you into a conversation you would rather avoid, stop talking! And if things already got physical, keep them that way!