April 02, 2014 / You Don’t Have To Hit Rock Bottom
Hitting "rock bottom" accomplishes nothing of value. Fix your problems before you get there.
You’ve probably seen the videos, and you’ve probably read the stories. You know, those stories about guys who needed to "hit rock bottom" to come up with that life changing epiphany. Or the guy who reinvented himself only once he "hit rock bottom". "Rock bottom" can refer to just about anything from drug addiction, to career/financial situation, to dating and social life. It is usually a motivator of change, simply because at the "rock bottom" point, change becomes necessary simply for survival. However, I am happy to report that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to change, and you should strive not to ever hit rock bottom.
Don’t accept the slippery slope
Many people only institute drastic change in their lives because the gradual slippage to the bottom is not noticeable until it’s too late. If you weigh 500lbs, you didn’t wake up that way. You gradually got there. From 150lbs, to 175lbs, to 200lbs, to 250, and so forth. You are 500lbs because you failed to recognize the gradual slippage, or perhaps you recognized it but did nothing. Either way, you are at rock bottom, but you didn’t have to be. And most importantly, there was absolutely no benefit to get there.
It’s the same with dating. You may have hit rock bottom because you were simply a mess out of the gate (like I was), but most likely, you have hit rock bottom because you failed to recognize the slippery slope that got you there. You kept making the same mistakes over and over again, perhaps ruining your reputation with women and/or reinforcing and entrenching the type of behavior that keeps women as far away from your bedroom as possible. You got there but you didn’t have to get there, and there was no benefit in getting there!
Rock bottom serves no purpose
As I just mentioned, there is no benefit to hitting rock bottom. It isn’t cool. It isn’t "eye opening", it won’t make your improvement from that point particularly sweeter. It serves absolutely no fucking purpose to hit rock bottom. Don’t think that "if you hit rock bottom" you will somehow become more motivated to improve, or you will be able to make changes that you wouldn’t have otherwise been able to make. Those who believe they were "blessed" to have hit rock bottom or whatever feel that way because they have deluded themselves into feeling that, because the brain has many built in defense mechanisms, denial and delusion being two powerful ones.
Don’t wait for your brains’ defense mechanisms to kick in to make change in your life. Grab the bull by the horns while it’s a calf, while you can easily control it. Deal with your issues early on.
Deal with your issues when they are easy to deal with
Every problem is easier to deal with when it starts. If you are 500lbs, you are going to really struggle to get into shape. After all, even if you lose 150lbs, you’re still a very fat 350lbs. You will still look fat, you’ll still be unhealthy, and you’ll still be unattractive. But you didn’t have to get to 500lbs in the first place. If you had just started to deal with your weight issues earlier, when you were 250lbs, or 225lbs, or 200lbs, you would only have to lose 30-100lbs to be in excellent shape; I’m talking the kind of shape that other men would be jealous of and women would drool over.
Weight loss is an easy quantifiable, example, but fixing problems when they are easy to fix holds for just about every problem. Dating is no exception. Don’t wait until you have so little self esteem you can’t even look at a woman, and so little game that you come off as a creepy weirdo loser the second you open your mouth. Fix your problems when you identify them.