Jul 21, 2014 / You Won't Lose Her If You Ask Her Over
Stop worrying about losing girls because you came on too strong.
If you regularly read Josh Sway you know that both TVJ and I strongly advocate you <a title="Don’t Play the ‘Long Game’" href="/articles/view/dont-play-the-long-game/">don't play the long game</a> and that you <a title="Taking It Slow Is A Bad Strategy" href="/articles/view/taking-it-slow-is-a-bad-strategy/">attempt to seduce as quickly as possible</a>. We detailed plenty of reasons for this in the aforementioned articles. In order to seduce quickly, you must usually get sex quickly, and what better way to get sex than to have her come over to your place for a date?
Unfortunately, many men fail to take this step not because they don't want to ask her, not because they are nervous, but because they are not only afraid she will say no, but also afraid that she will lose interest by them being too forward. It's time to stop having these concerns, because they rarely ever happen!
<h3>You won't lose her if you ask her over</h3>
What will dictate whether or not a woman will continue to see you is whether or not she likes you and how much she likes you. What date you propose, as long as you aren't downright offensive is almost never going to turn her off. Did you try asking a woman over once and get rejected? The reason is most likely she wasn't that into you to begin with. If she was into you, but not ready to come over, she would have proposed a different plan. Then you know she likes you, but the comfort level isn't there to come up to your place right away.
What doesn't happen is her liking you enough to see you again, not be ready to go to your place, and then become completely turned off when you propose your place for a date. This simply does not happen. As I just mentioned, if she is not comfortable but still likes you, she'll propose a different date and no harm will be done.
<h3>Ways to ask her over</h3>
Do you know you need to get her over but simply don't know how to ask? Here are several approaches you can take. I have used all of them and all of them generally work fine. Some are more forward than others, some give her an easy out, and others fall somewhere in between.
<h5>1. The Two Step Approach</h5>
One way to get her to come over to your place that is quite passive is once you agree to meet up ask her if: "Anything in particular you are up for?". Her response almost every single time will be: "I'm up for whatever.". To that you respond: "How about we do something low-key, maybe order in + a bottle of wine?" or something along those lines.
<h5>2. Give her a choice.</h5>
Another less assertive approach is to give her a choice. For instance, once you agree on a date , give her two options, one being your place. (See my article on <a title="How to Ask a Girl Out" href="/articles/view/how-to-ask-a-girl-out/">how to ask a girl out</a> which discusses this two step process of, agree to a date, then arrange the details). One example text might be: "How about we meet up for a drink at XYZ or if it's nice outside let's do a bottle of wine on my roofdeck."
<h5>3. Just suggest it!</h5>
The most obvious way to get her to come over is to simply suggest that as the date! Here are some ideas for a "date at your place".
1.Order-in and a drink
3. Cook for her
4. Drinks and Board games
5. Check out XYZ at your place (guitar, roof, pool, etc.)
It really doesn't matter, what matters is proposing something at your place.
<h3>You'll probably have to ask at some point anyway.</h3>
At the end of the day, you can delay asking her over as much as you want, but it's going to have to happen eventually. Many quality women aren't going to have patience with someone who lacks the courage to invite them over and they aren't just going to invite you over (sometimes they will, but more likely you need to be doing it). So instead of delaying the inevitable, go for it sooner! The benefits are large and the costs are nonexistent.